My friend Maggie is the coolest person I know. She’s in a band. She’s a bartender. She’s an artist. She’s incredibly smart. She dresses in a style that looks effortless, cute skirts, unassuming pigtails and a broken-in pair of chucks, but that also exudes attitude. A tattoo referencing her band, represented in the form of a scuff on the knee. She’s also intuitive and kind. Once, after hearing bad news and tearing up at the bar, she drew me an incredible sweet cartoon (did I mention she creates hilarious cartoons) with a 4-leaf clover attached to make me feel better. It was above and beyond kind.
In general, I see Maggie when my husband and I stop in for a couple of beers at happy hour. This usually means I’m in a business suit or other work attire. I often make some comment about not being comfortable; I’d prefer to be in a blue-jean skirt, t-shirt and flip flops. She always mentions something like, “If I had to dress up, that’s what I’d wear.” I take that as a compliment!
A few weeks ago, a few of Maggie’s friends came in while we were there. She had gotten off from work and decided to have a beer with us before she left and they joined her (and us). It was immediately obvious that her friends didn’t realize we were friends with Maggie, just thought we were normal customers. As I tried to talk to Maggie or join their conversation, one of her friends, took one look at me, rolled her eyes, and turned her back on me. I think that she was judging me based on what I LOOKED like I would be like. It wasn’t a necessarily good experience except that Maggie eased her friend aside to make room for my inclusion in the conversation. I don’t think she realized it. I feel sure she would have said something to make it known we are friends, but I didn’t really want or need that kind of validation.
It was more of an eye-opening experience for me. I tend to have a wide variety when it comes to types of friends but some of my friends do not. It immediately made me aware that the same situation could happen if some of my coworkers had joined me after work.
How often do we take one look at someone and sum them up? How often are we wrong? I may not have looked the part, but indeed, someone as cool as Maggie is my friend. 😉