I woke up at a friend’s house when she frantically yelled into the answering machine. I watched alone in horror when the second plane hit. Back at home in my apartment, my friends and I stared blankly at the TV screen all day and into night. My friend said something like, “I left Ireland to get away from terrorism, I never thought there would be terrorism like this here.”

I thought we were going to war. Would my brother have to go to war? (He didn’t but my then-boyfriend did. He reenlisted less than two weeks later. )

My best friend lived in NYC. And since I don’t know geography of the city well enough, I didn’t know how close she was to the World Trade Center and I couldn’t get through the phone lines to talk to her. Late that night I got a short, simple email I will never forget.

“The bridge was closed so I had to walk. I am home, tired, but safe.”

I sat there with the realization that there were so many people who would never get that email and I cried.

This year, my friend, and uber talented musician, Scott Miller put out a Christmas CD.  I coulnd’t believe it.  I took him for even more of a Scrooge than me!  As it turns out, it’s a beautiful record.  Maybe I never liked Christmas music because all you ever hear are Rascall Flatts and Mariah Carey’s versions.

The opening track  on Christmas Gift, features poet and musician R.B. Morris joining him with a reading from TS Elliott’s Journey of the Magi.  It’s the perfect marriage of spoken work and music.  Truly a gift.  Scott also gives us his take on Neil Young’s Star of Bethlehem.  It’s an old favorite of mine, one that I’d only heard at a December show years ago, I felt lucky to have heard it then, knowing now I can play it at anytime makes me so happy. I catch myself starting the song over again before it even finishes.  It’s that good.  He also covers a John Prine song and a Roger Miller song, both of which work perfectly.

So that’s my recommendation, go get this album.  You can purchase them on his website or, even better, go catch him live. He travels all over the country just about all of the time.  Go enjoy some good music, and right now, some holiday cheer.

I think it’s a beautiful tribute to a beautiful person.  I’ve struggled all day to think of something kind to do.  I can say I have been kind to those I’ve interacted with today, more so than usual.  I drove by Katie’s house on my way to lunch (she lives near my home, I’m not creepy) and upon seeing her car in the driveway, I immediately wanted my act of kindness to be grabbing flowers or bright balloons and running to her porch.  I felt like that might be an intrusion and I knew it was no coincidence she was home today, so I gave her that privacy.

I thought about filling all the parking meters downtown but then realized that most spaces aren’t metered and by the time I got enough change, I needed to be back to work.  By the time I get off, the meters w0n’t be ticketing.  I thought of buying flowers for my coworkers, but the day before payday made that a not-so-wise decision.

So today, I am still struggling to find my specific act of kindness.  In the meantime, in honor of Henry’s family, I’m reaching out to those I hold dear and telling them I love them.  I’m making time to see them.  And I will make sure they know, nothing is worth more than seeing them another day.

But, I just might throw a good joke in there too because, Henry wouldn’t have it any other way.

And the kicker.  He’s 70!

Our friend Jay Pfaffman’s house burned down this week. He, his dog Thor, and Thor’s kitty all made it out safely, thank goodness, but his house is gone. I stopped by yesterday and it’s heartbreaking to see someone’s life and all their belongings become a pile of ashes. People always say, “What would you grab if your house was on fire?” thinking that’s a reasonable thing to ask. Jay only had time to get himself out. Thankfully, the firefighters got to Thor.

And finally my dear friend Karen’s mother-in-law passed away in a freak motorcycle accident.  Eva Maria was an outgoing, life-loving, rambunctious woman.  Heck, she died at 73  in a wreck on her new Harley! That should tell you something.  I hate that my friends are hurting because they will no doubt miss her but she lived her life.  Of that we can be sure. I also hate that I didn’t get the chance to know her as well as I soon would have. She would have been my neighbor when we build our house. And what a neighbor she’d have been.

We had a sales blitz at my place of employ which meant I was working about 10 hour days and constantly trying to think of ways to produce big and bigger sales.  By the time I got home from work each day, my brain was so tired, I literally had a hard time making decisions about what to eat for dinner.  That’s bad.

Anyway.  Here are a few things I’ve been enjoying on the interwebs and in real life:

Adrienne Martini’s blog – she’s a writer, professor and a mom.  She’d probably reorder that list, but I’m not a mom and it’s my blog, so it stays.  Anyway, she’s funny and smart and on her ?Many things Make a Post” series ALWAYS seems to have two or more things I love. Lately my facebook links page looks more like an homage to Adrienne than my own thoughts.

She’s Still Got It - Lindsay Ferrier from Suburban Turmoil and the Nashville Scene bring her style blog to Cafe Stir. I’m finding that I don’t agree with everything she’s says about fashion, I love her updates and look forward to them.

Leslie Wylie’s Eventing Blog – my friend Leslie’s a champion in the equestrian sport of eventing, but amid all of the beautiful images of horses, she illustrates an honest,  funny and sometimes touching story of a girl just doing what she’s loves and trying to make a go of it.

I have a personal connection, Carrie was a friend. We didn’t know each other very well, but, still, we were friends. And I’m close with many of her best friends that she left behind. And we’re all wondering where is the public outcry? Where is the outcry for SWIFT justice? Where is the media coverage? Will Jamie Satterfield be tweeting updates from the courthouse to let us know what’s going on minute-by-minute?

I’m afraid she won’t; I wonder if it’s not sensational enough for her to get assigned it (Jamie, if you’re reading this, I really, really wish you would cover this). And for all the media outlets*, I wonder if it’s just not enough of a “ratings grabber” when it doesn’t involve race, drugs, or political scandal. It’s just a tragic story of a young women with an amazing future ahead of her and how a violent, brutal attack robbed the world of her. Those who were touched by her, will always be so, and those who were touched by the crime, have forgotten. They sleep well at night assuming that justice has been served and we’re all safe from the Micah Johnson’s of the world.

Little do they know how far that is from the truth.

*For disclosure purposes, I work in the advertising department of one of the most respected and important media outlets in East Tennessee.

In general, I see Maggie when my husband and I stop in for a couple of beers at happy hour.  This usually means I’m in a business suit or other work attire.  I often make some comment about not being comfortable; I’d prefer to be in a blue-jean skirt, t-shirt and flip flops.  She always mentions something like, “If I had to dress up, that’s what I’d wear.”  I take that as a compliment!

A few weeks ago, a few of Maggie’s friends came in while we were there.  She had gotten off from work and decided to have a beer with us before she left and they joined her (and us).  It was immediately obvious that her friends didn’t realize we were friends with Maggie, just thought we were normal customers.  As I tried to talk to Maggie or join their conversation, one of her friends, took one look at me, rolled her eyes, and turned her back on me.  I think that she was judging me based on what I LOOKED like I would be like.  It wasn’t a necessarily good experience except that Maggie eased her friend aside to make room for my inclusion in the conversation.  I don’t think she realized it. I feel sure she would have said something to make it known we are friends, but I didn’t really want or need that kind of validation. 

It was more of an eye-opening experience for me.  I tend to have a wide variety when it comes to types of friends but some of my friends do not.  It immediately made me aware that the same situation could happen if some of my coworkers had joined me after work. 

How often do we take one look at someone and sum them up?  How often are we wrong? I may not have looked the part, but indeed, someone as cool as Maggie is my friend.